28/08/2013

Limbo (Fuck Heaven)

Best avoided if you have an unwavering optimism for the afterlife. Basically, I think the belief in the afterlife driven by fear is mainly irrational because it demeans any form of worth this life has:


Fuck Heaven, man!
It's not my idea of fun.
Full of ballroom dancing, and worshiping the sun.
They say there's only limited space;
And I hope there's no space left.
I want to go to Limbo, with philosophers,
Thinkers and the rest.
The language barrier is no issue, either,
I have an eternity to learn -
And I don't fancy going to Hell
Where, for infinity, you essentially burn.

Fuck Heaven, man!
Why take reason from life?
Fearing for the incomplete; ending with a knife.
I don't want eternity, to burn or sing with glee.
To chat with men is the best I'll get,
Before boredom throttles me.
Never to live to the full as a mortal,
What's the point in now?
So instead, with the rest,
I'll spend all of forever simply wondering:
'How?'

To infinity!
Fuck Heaven, man!

12/08/2013

I've had Chronic Sleep Paralysis for over 6 years...

     I’ve noticed a lot of interest, all of a sudden, in the disorder Sleep Paralysis (SP) and figured I’d give my piece, as I seem to have had it more severely than most people. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not boasting about that - why would I? It’s a horrible thing… But I thought people might be interested, so everything I write here is based on experiences and research. Also, I’ve written a short story here attempting to mimic the experience.
     First of all - Don’t be frightened of it happening to you, out of nowhere. So, Sleep Paralysis is basically a disorder in which the part of your brain that controls consciousness decides to be less asleep than the part that controls everything else. In other words, your body is asleep - you are not. In most cases this only lasts a few seconds and the majority of people who get it the odd time don’t even notice it.

     I was about 15 when I first experienced it, I had just stayed up til about 4-5AM watching a horror film and when I went to sleep, I woke up, unable to move, for around 20 seconds-ish. After it happened about three or four times over a couple of weeks I decided to look it up and found out I had been suffering from quite a common thing called Sleep Paralysis. This continued to happen for years and years, the longest I’ve gone without it is about 4 months, but I’ve also had it for 3 days in a row before. It can happen lots of times in a night, each time you sleep - or it can last for many long minutes.

     I feel it is important to point out, here, that it is a normal thing to happen, your body always becomes paralysed when sleeping to stop you acting out your dreams. Everybody has this, you're just not supposed to wake up whilst that is happening, but it is marginally common so don't panic - it's okay.

     Sleep Paralysis happens either when you’re just dropping off to sleep, or just about to wake up and it’s very common for you to hallucinate. This is because the brain likes to try to make sense of the fact that you can’t move, so it tries to give you a reason by making stuff up and this accounts for almost every single sighting of demons and aliens and so on - it plays on your psyche. So, if you don’t believe in something, it’s unlikely to haunt you.

     There is no known cure for sleep paralysis, but it seems to be more severe if you sleep on your back, but only in the sense that it gives you difficulty breathing; I’ve never slept on my back and I still get it all the time. A common thing to break it or prevent it from happening (in my experience) is physical contact. If you have contact, preferably with another person, that gives you something to focus on, and if someone touches you while it’s happening, it’ll typically break it. It can also take the edge off if you have a soft toy to sleep with or something else physical other than your bed to focus on.

     SP is mainly caused by bad sleep hygiene (irregular hours, sleep deprivation, caffeine before bed, etc…), so sometimes you can be aware when it’s more likely to happen. But the best thing to do is just deal with it - rather than starve yourself of sleep which can only make it worse. I used to get up after an episode, chill for an hour and then go back to bed. When you know it might happen is scary, but you need to just carry on and let it pass.

     One of the worst things about SP is just the lack of refreshing sleep you get when you wake up. You don’t feel much better due to the sleep, but it’s still better than not sleeping. While it is not a nice thing to happen, and yes - it can be scary, it’s really nothing that should be used to scare monger people - you can learn to deal with it just fine. Don’t be scared of it happening to you if you've not experienced it before. If you don’t get it in your teenage years, you’re very likely to never have it at all.

     The worst personal experience I've ever had was when it accompanied 'Exploding Head Syndrome' alongside it, which is where you hallucinate the sound of a large crash or an explosion - I was certain someone was trying to break into my room and I could not move for what felt like 3-4 minutes. If you hear anything like this, try not to panic as much as I did. I was only scared because I was unaware that could happen.

     If anyone has any questions, please feel free to contact me at http://bringerofsweets.tumblr.com/. I hope this helps, is interesting, or is useful. Thanks.

07/08/2013

Three Untitled Flash Poems

Hello! So I have a small update of some mini-things I've written over the past few days. I figured if I'm going to be writing every day it might be cool for me to do some of the smaller stuff alongside the bigger stuff.

So here are a few flash poems for you to gaze upon. Bare in mind, that this is only simple pieces of poetry, they don't reflect my personal life or anything like that - just so you know. Also, as you can see ahead, they're awfully short - as is the nature of flash poetry. Well, here you go:

Untitled #1

I watch you while you sleep.
I think that might be creepy?
But when I'm lying next to you,
How can I be sleepy?

Untitled #2


I never believed, that people truly grieved.
But then you died, and it made me decide:
They do.

Untitled #3


Look not to me,
If the world is against you.
Look not to me,
To cure your blight.
Look not to me,
To fix all your problems.
Look, just fuck off, alright?