Update Finale

Thanks for reading, there wasn't quite as much material as I would have liked and almost all of it was random poetry to keep people happy. The poetry holds no progress of specific enjoyment for me, but some of them are okay - and people seem to like them - so there they are.

Writing is something I'll continue to pursue - but I will very likely be removing my blogspot at some point. It has proven to be not excessively beneficial overall. I dislike some of my older posts, and the feeling of needing to update something that takes away from the writing I wish to create isn't exactly helpful. Even if I did carry on with the bigger stuff that would get this blog views and my work out there - I wouldn't be able to keep up to content to keep people happy, so it seems relatively pointless.

Also, people don't want to read things, I have learned. On a computer screen, some people will skim articles, but generally anything more than a sentence isn't read. Which I find bizarre considering people read hundreds of individual sentences on social media every day... but I digress. Rather, when I get the time, I shall arrange some of my online series on YouTube and otherwise just try to work more on my novel(las) than write bad poetry or update this pointless thing.

But I thank you.

Ciao for now.

Show

So I'm in the process of writing a one-man show. It will be comedy, but also not - so I don't particularly want to call it 'stand-up'. I have no idea how long it'll be before I can perform it, or even how I would go about doing that - I just wanted it known that it is happening.

Other than that, I have made a start on my main fantasy novel, just don't go waiting - because it'll be upwards of 10 years for that one to exist in readable form.

Short stories are not going so well. Hopefully soon I shall sort my self out as to be in a situation to be writing a lot more consistently, rather than just a whole bunch every now and then, and then I'll be able to get a new short story ready. I have two novella ideas in progress at the moment, but you'll have to wait for further word before they get anywhere at all.

So, this is basically a personal diary log of my current written situation. Ciao for now!

A long week...

At a certain point in life, the week seems too long,
To carry on. It is around this point, I broke.
My mind escaped a sweetened state;
My body numbed from feeling.

A simple step-stroll in the park, a lake,
Some reflection over my reflection.
Underneath those frozen waters, I saw only sin.
For 'twas not just a lake: 'twas the bodies within.

Such corpses did yearn for my retrieval,
My joining as their leader. My weary mind,
accepted not the power, a frail life so meagre.

Knees collapsed, I fell, slipping into the hive-mind
Below. I feigned not to be their award winning direct,
But I would be part of the show.

'More Than Just Me'

I've known now, for little over a week, that it's not just me who you kiss on the cheek. I needed the emotions to settle themselves, to understand the feeling that initially overwhelmed.

"Am I not enough?" I kept asking myself, but I know I can't be blamed for you seeking someone else. You could have just told me, if I'd done something wrong: playing second best is a story worthy of song.

What the hell is wrong with you? I just need to know, as if my love for you didn't remain, or leave us alone. Now all I feel is anger, when you come back home. To me, to us. You kiss me, you hug. You pretend you had felt love just moments before, and I welcome you in and close the door. That door remains shut, and my acting is fine - for on this side of the door, I know you are mine. But I cannot continue like this.

So when next I see you, walking up the path, my mind feels bursting with the extent of my wrath. Like a swirling anger, a blooded bath - I'm determined to put an end to this farce.

As I'm ready to release all of the fury raging in my head.

I fake a smile instead.

Pretentious Poem

It seems, to me, nothing short of fantastic.
The way you manage the vacuous space between us.
And yet,
To my dismay,
That emptiness never fills,
Or pulls us closer than we currently are.
Statues of longing in a museum of pretension.

Or maybe it's just me?

Quotes from my fantasy novel main characters...

Tezz Reinard:

It is human's combined intelligence that has allowed us to survive for so long. It is human's variety of intelligence that will be our extinction.

Topaz:

You start to become invisible when people cease to consider you a threat. It is for this reason ghosts are so loud to those who fear them.

Ylvanna Seadevil:

Nobody deserves to suffer! Save, perhaps those who cause the suffering. Bullies are the people who need to be bullied.

Recin Grondeir:

People don't value the important things, but that is not the important thing's fault. The keepers of important things are simply ignored, and we only want to be heard.

Very short thought-provokers

I'm not even sure love exists,

You can't prove it's not placebo.

We only see through tinted myths,

A doesn't follow B, though.

---------------------------------------

I'm quite lonely, but that's okay!

Do feel free to leave, 

If I'm in your way...

The perfect partner...

There has always been a perfect partner,
In my mind, who, naturally,
Has changed over time.
From superficial things, like her hips,
To smile lines.

To the inner workings,
Like she reads, or studies history,
Or fawned over every mystery,
Sometimes she was a little damaged,
Sure,
But other times, she was quite the bore!
And I was cool with that.

She'd have idiosyncrasies, in the way that she spoke,
Sometimes she'd make everything a joke,
She often had this funny little snore,
Or a cute little mole at the base of her jaw.

And of all these things I've desired,
And the rest I failed to mention before,
There had always been one thing about her,
My darling, my love,
One single thing that has forever remained true,

It's never never been you.

More Angst

When I look, I never find you.
I don't understand the ties that bind you.
I'll always be a step behind you,
But I'll keep searching, anyway.

I'm lost, myself.
Unstable health.
Lack of wealth.
Empty Shelf.
But I'll keep searching, anyway.

You're so fucking far ahead of me,
Do you have my back?

Please have my back.

The Ocean

Two flash poems filled with angst...

There are so many things I wish to say.
But mostly I wish to say nothing.

---------------------------------------------


I used to fear everything,
Now I sleep with the doors open.

It's not that you are missed,
It's that I miss who I used to be.

I want them to find me.
I don't want to feel safe.

It's so cold, though.

The best - worst poem in the world.

Warning: The following poem is awful, but it's so amazingly awful, that it is almost good. This was designed to trick pretentious morons into thinking it is a good poem. Enjoy.

I disagree with what they say,

That when you live life, you live it like a bonsai tree.

Yes it is small, and well trimmed - but while we stand,

We always soar, and snore, and throw things at glass houses from the outside.

They are guilty, cutting Bolster and letting him bleed,

Was it worth the exaggeration? 

Throwing things at brick houses, ships, lucky dips.

Serendipity is on our side, today!

"Praise and pray we keep our heads." they said, 

But it just increases it tenfold.

I disagree, I tell you, I disagree.

From that huge horse, you'll never understand

The unspoken sorrows of your friends.

This is why we cannot be so!

What is true? Heck, pick a number!

Untitled Flash Fiction

On a Tuesday, it was directly to bed. Usually it would be a bowl of cereal and a catch up on the news after being home late, though tonight it was the mattress holding all of his desires. Work had been overmuch of late and while it had been a welcome distraction since Lucy's horror of a passing, it was sleep remained his greatest solace. Time to relax. He slid down the half-cocked covers and then bundled himself inside; with one extended arm, he blackened the room. A grin embraced his face and his eyes embraced the shade and it was then he knew he was not alone. Paralysed in fear, he awaited the end.