'Sonder' is a word that is formulated by the epiphany, realisation, sudden understanding that each person you pass in the street actually IS a real person. Every single one of them has a story included with a future and a past, role models and desires, quelled or encouraged beliefs. There are so many of them, they walk past you and you realise that you are simply an extra in their life, that person that walks through the back of the shot and then them as people carry on to pass more people who have more stories and lives and specialist subjects and so on.
Everyone has a certain depth, and just like stories in books, or knowledge in life - you simply cannot know them all, it just cannot be done. So instead of learning all of the things, you specialise in a subject just as you specialise in a person. This is a relationship.
You learn every part of them, inside and out. With your finger you quickly learn the trace of their body, and over time you, with your mind, you learn to trace the inside of their mind. You adore them and you're not an extra in their life, you're a key character. You're the secondary character in their story, and they're the secondary character in yours.
...It's simply beautiful.
A good relationship spawns when this happens. You're not second guessing each other, talking to friends about doubts you might have. You talk to them, you're sharing your lives. Most importantly, you're not one person - you're two. You give fifty percent of yourself to them, they give fifty percent to you and you're both still one-hundred percent. Each. They don't complete you, you simply share in each others completeness.
Romance died a long time ago - but they who live each-to-their-own know what to do, themselves, and despite the decayed world of romance, you can love each other and be happy.
That is until around the age of thirty-one where you realise you're married to someone you only used to love, and yet you have children with them anyway who feed off of your life's worth to repeat the cycle of a miserable death at the age of fifty-six via heart attack.
But when you ignore that part, it truly is quite beautiful.
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What I'm trying to say is - go forth and love. I've posted my thoughts before on the frustrations of forced romance - but I am a little more liberal and wiser to my issues, now. The only true pleasure you'll find with another person is with someone who wants to give it back, equally. It's not a battle to make the other one happier than you, or one sided so that it's their job to surprise you with 'romance', or visa versa.
Most romance died hundreds of years ago. But you clever people can still find it, and it is whatever your relationship deems it to be, it's not sexist notions of chivalry where a guy caters for a girl's every whim, and it's not forced ideals of chocolates, wine, flowers and a candle lit dinner - it's both of those things and neither. It depends on yourself and your significant other. Think outside the box and be yourselves. You're free. Share in it. (Just... make sure there is no harm involved. Autocannibalism is not romantic.)
Personally, my life comes first. To me, love is nice, but that's all it is. When it comes I'll accept it, but for now I have bigger goals and priorities to tackle.
Ciao for now.
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