Here, on Valentines Day, I'd like to propose a few points to the world. Some turns of phrase that are used at times like this, about love and romance, that are just plain silly. So before we start I would like to explain that, yes, I am a pessimist about love. Yes, I am currently single. And no, I am not anti-romance, I'm pro-romance. This has nothing to do with those things - people can enjoy themselves anyway they desire. I believe love an romance is quite a special thing and should be celebrated as special when you're part of it. However, that doesn't mean you have to be pathetic and illogical about it. So here is a couple of ridicules phrases that should not exist:
True love? ... What, like that non-true love. Like the genuine love you feel isn't true? Like there are only two forms of love, the love that you feel for one person is true love and the love you can feel for anyone else is just normal love?True Love
Not only does this suggest the utter crap like there is only one person for everyone, it is also the suggestion that - statistically - the vast majority of people's love isn't true. They just think it is. What sort of twisted world is this creating? Everyone's secretly just infatuated with each other...
A friend pointed out to me that technically you can have false love. Love that is only pretend, or that you've lied about it enough to the point you believe it yourself. But this, in a sense, isn't really false love as much as just not love. It's something else. However, if something is genuinely love, then it is true that it is love. So the love is true.
Of course, some love is stronger than others, love changed over time and the love you can feel for different people can feel different - certainly, but they are all truly loving someone in some way.
Am I making sense? Here's a logical breakdown.
-P is love
-Q is true love
- If P exists, then it is also Q Alternately:
- P P if and only if Q
- Therefore Q (P ≡ Q)
Got it? All love is true. Okay, lets move on.
Okay. Here's the thing. There is no such thing as a friendzone. A friend zone is the suggestion that a male and a female [change genders according to sexuality] cannot only be friends, so the one that wants to be more is actively 'zoned' by the other to keep them at bay.Friendzone
This is utter shit. Firstly, the fact that this is such a common claim is that there are so many people who have friends they would like to have something more with. This is just a sad case of events - however, the further suggestion is to assume that one can't make more of a move or talk about the idea of them being together because one or the other claims that the other is their friend. Okay. This isn't an issue, you are friends. That's exactly what you currently are. You cannot read into this 'I see you as a friend currently, so nothing more will ever happen' - it's just not true. Just try for it. You can't assume that you currently being friends means they are going out of their way to keep you as a friend.
If anything, a 'friendzone' is a made up excuse for someone to cower away from asking someone out, or talking about the possibility of a relationship. If you want it, all you have to do is ask. You'll be helped by the clarity and closure of your feelings anyway - it wont ruin anything to try for it, get turned down and fall back into being comfortable as friends afterwards - you won't like only this person forever.
It's a shame, also, because people see a guy and a girl out together as friends, and so many people just to the assumption that (usually the guy) someone is being friendzoned. Why? What's wrong with inter-gender relationships? Are we so still in the school playground that we have to gossip about people who venture out of their respective gender groups?
Sure, relationships and love can come naturally and passively waiting for it is fine - but that doesn't mean you don't have to do a bit of work for it. If you naturally like someone but are scared to ask them, try thinking outside of your own head for a second and perhaps they think the same? It's not gonna hurt to try is all.
As a result, it's all just a made up word revolving around people's lackluster approach at life. It's not a thing - so just handle it better. Success or fail, you're no longer friend zoned by your own feelings.
Last but not least...
I know this isn't technically about lover-relationships, but it is a social interaction that I have a bit of a bugbear about anyway.Banter
Dictionary Definition: The playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks.
And this is it. That is what it is and nothing else. Taking the piss, is not banter. Bullying is not banter. Making jokes about people who are not there is not banter. You can't cover up every single conversational point as 'banter' so please stop using the word. I shouldn't even have to explain this. It's a crap slang word that people just don't use correctly, like 'ream' or 'literally' as terms of exaggeration. Stop it.
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