Introspection #4: It's Your Fault

     It's all your fault.

     'Your' being the personal 'one's' fault. Everything you do, it's just your own fault.

     Now, obviously I am aware that some things cannot be helped, some things are done by others and you can't really do much about it. Bad things happen. Things are done to you. But your reactions, interactions, survival instincts, opinions, prejudices, feelings, actions, belief systems and notion of 'the good'. Those are all you. Or, I should say, me.

     Example. If I make a comment as a joke and have no intention of offending you and then you are offended - that is your fault you're offended. I have literally no reason to apologise. If I say something with the intention to offend you, the way you take that and react - also your fault.

     You are not responsible for other people's beliefs and opinions, but you can act accordingly. If someone holds a belief that offends you, feel free to be offended - but it's your fault you're offended. If you want to let it slide because their opinion doesn't matter, also all you. If someone does something bad to you, that is obviously their fault, but the way you deal with that is what makes you who you are.

      We have a certain amount of control over this, but it's the ability to look inside and understanding why we believe what we believe and how to act in the best way that is important. To do this, you have to understand that it's all only you. There are no real correct ways, just some that are probably better than others.

     So I don't blame others for their intentions or what they made me feel, I blame others for the way they act if that thing is an absolute. I get annoyed at them - understanding that I have let myself be annoyed. If offended, I understand why I am offended; they have no responsibility to apologise on my part for either of these things. This, again, is nothing new. It is simply freedom of speech, you have the right and entitlement to say and believe literally anything you want - but that doesn't mean people have to put up with your shit. If you say something wrong and everyone shuns you, that's your fault. Their reaction to shun you, that's their fault. Everything is on the self - get it?

     Nobody is exempt from influence. You cannot, though, be blamed for how other people act on your influence. If I murder because I watched a movie, that's my fault, not the movie. People are free to do as they will, which means anything you do is your fault, devoid of influences and motivations. Faulty thinking is your own fault, so stop shouting 'They started it!', or 'He said this!', or 'Look at what she's wearing!' and learn to realise that it's not them that's in the wrong.

     The world is a series of things that happen to me, and my respective responses to those things - the first is out of my control, the second is entirely me.